The 5 Love Languages: Farmer Edition

I couldn’t help but share a love story on Valentine’s Day, because after all, I am a hopeless romantic. 😉

Jacob and I officially “met” in December of 2016. We say we met through mutual friends, which I guess we kind of did, but we actually met on Facebook. Of all places! One day, Jacob sent me a friend request on Facebook. I had no idea who he was, but we had a decent amount of mutual friends that we both knew from the dairy world and peers of mine at the University of Minnesota. I looked through his pictures and thought to myself, “Well he’s pretty dang cute. And he seems legit. I’ll accept his friend request.” So, I did. A few months went by and I noticed that he kept “liking” pictures I would post and I was like, “Who in the world is this guy?”

Fast forward to my birthday, I remember telling my sister, “If that Jacob guy wishes me a happy birthday, I’m going to send him a personal message to thank him.” And sure enough, he did. So, I sent him a message. 10 days later we had our first date. And, about a week after that he invited me to his farm for a New Year’s Eve “party”. At this party, I met his entire family (parents, siblings, in-laws – you name it) and about 400 of his closest friends. He asked me to officially be his girlfriend that night, and here we are, over 5 years later.

Jacob is known for having big New Year’s Eve parties in the farm shop, so naturally we got engaged on New Year’s Eve in 2019 and were married on New Year’s Eve in 2020. I love that NYE is a special holiday for our relationship!

I attribute farming for bringing us together. Our mutual friends were all in the ag industry, and that was a point of conversation that really opened both of us up in the very early stages of our relationship. We bonded over both growing up on farms, albeit I grew up on a corn & soybean farm, while he grew up on a dairy farm, but nonetheless, the values and traditions of agriculture brought us together.

When I would visit him on the weekends while I was in college, our time together was spent working on the farm. I would sit in the parlor while he milked cows and we would talk for those few hours, or I would just sit and keep him company. Soon enough, I was joining him in the chore of milking cows or feeding calves. I never thought I would milk a cow in my entire life, but I spent quite a number of hours either with Jacob or Jody, my now mother-in-law, in the first few years of our relationship milking cows. Sadly, Jacob’s parents had to sell the dairy cows in 2019 because of the volatile market. It was one of the hardest things we’ve ever been through, but I am so grateful I had the chance to experience that way of life.

During planting, silage chopping and fall harvest, I would ride with him in the tractors, semis, or combine. Any time we had together, was spent on the farm. Now as an official farm wife, Jacob has tasks and roles I can do on my own for the farm. I help during the busy seasons mostly with parts and seed running, but my main jobs are making sure everyone is fed and taking care of our home. Our roles are constantly evolving, but I just go where he needs me, and I live for it.

I think farm couples are unique, as most of the time, we make a date out of whatever we’re doing. Hauling grain, combining, moving hay, checking cattle, transporting seed, you name it, we make a date out of it. So, with Jacob’s help, I put a little spin on the traditional “5 Love Languages”.

  1. Words of Affirmation: “Great job keeping the cattle in!” 

I’m the gate girl whenever we’re sorting, moving or feeding cattle. You’d be happy to know that I can hold up a gate quite well. 😉

  1. Receiving Gifts: “I bought you a new heifer.”

We can’t go out to eat because we don’t want to spend the money, but hey, my husband can definitely buy eight new bred heifers the same day. 

  1. Acts of Service: “Don’t worry honey, I’ll feed the cattle today.”

This should really be me saying it to Jacob! Ha! I help fork hay and feed corn when I’m at the farm, but Jacob does it every single day, so really I should be doing this for him!

  1. Physical Touch: “Yeah, keep the gate between you and the heifers. The mean one can’t get ya then.”

Thanks, babe. Glad to know you have my back.

  1. Quality Time: “Let’s check cows together.”

I can’t lie, this is really good quality time together. I have learned and continue to learn so much from Jacob and that happens when we’re on the farm together.

As you can see, we’ve changed quite a bit over the last 5 years. 🙂

Agriculture is what brought Jacob and I to each other, and I love that we are building our life together based on farming now. In the last couple of years, we have started the tradition of staying home on Valentine’s Day and enjoying nice, grilled ribeye steaks. Hopefully he’ll be home at a timely hour so we can carry on the tradition. 🙂 

I hope you all celebrate love today, and every day, in any way you can.

Rooted in ag and led by faith,


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